The mid-section is confusing; a lot of the action is missing. You are meant to make sense of what is going in a pre-viz so it’s best to put a bit more information to make sure it reads better. Make the pre-vis more functional and don’t worry too much about posing the characters.
By moving the characters slightly, for instance by using a simple spin to indicate dancing, will help with figuring out the timing and will make the story clearer. Also, simple sound effects like the rustling of the bushes will help to read the pre-vis better.
The animation will have to shrink down to about 3:30 minutes (not including credits). Possibly think of removing any repetitive scenes or cutting from the long introduction scene and add it up to the dance sequence. It’s hard to judge if the dance sequence is enough or not at the moment so it’s best to take reference from the Thai Dance Academy footage and practice so key poses.
The ground needs to be more graphically enhanced. Add more rocks for instance, leaves or even more vegetation to fill the emptiness. More props will fake the distance even more. Consider adding foreground elements like tree branches or leaves hanging from the side.
The characters (or the focal point of the shot) have to be framed into the scene. This will be achieved by placing the props around them, (or the around flower in the opening scene’s case) to lead the viewer’s eyes to them. As opposed to placing props randomly, think of the composition as a frame to make the characters stand out and direct the viewer to them. Also think of symmetry when placing objects around depending on what the center of attention is. For example, there is a scene in the Pre-vis where Kinnaree and Hemmy are both in the middle of the shot and there is a tree on the side. Maybe add an extra tree on the other side to make a frame around them.
We need to push ourselves even more into animation since the whole project was based that and we haven’t shown much of it so far.
Hi Guys,
ReplyDeleteOkay - I'm going to admit to some confusion; when I first saw this pre-viz, I viewed it very much in light of our conversations about combining the flat world with your cg characters - and not as a pre-viz that was communicative of actual screen action. In other words, I didn't react to it with any expectation around staging/animation/editing. I can see from the feedback above that these 'missing' elements of your pre-viz have since been highlighted. I would have certainly had LOTS to say about this stuff, because in terms of conveying the actual ACTION and FLOW and charm of your story, no, this Pre-viz is almost undermining your intentions - simply because everything takes ages to happen, with characters drifting around and everything having a rather haphazard feel (again, the glitching and text elements contributed to my reading of this pre-viz as very much an exercise FOR YOU in first glimpsing your world, and not a pre-viz directed at US (i.e. your audience).
So - if it is your intention to present a pre-viz that is audience-facing for the interim crit, then yes, you've got LOADS you need to think about in terms of expressing your story and demonstrating your sensitivity for telling this story as effectively as possible. As an audience-facing pre-viz (as opposed to a Dayle & Andi combine stuff for the first time' pre-viz), this exercise doesn't communicate enough of what this project is. I think you probably know this - and maybe you always did - but I wanted to articulate my feelings here because I watched this pre-viz originally as if I was the 2 of you committing to your world for the first time, as opposed to watching it as an audience member - hence the positive reinforcement of your commitment to layered world etc, and my lack of feedback on the other stuff. I'm sorry then, if my feedback wasn't as useful as it might have been in the first instance :(
In light of my confusion then re. the purpose/audience for this first previz, I don't yet feel unable to comment on the music, because right now, the music is accompanying a pre-viz that isn't synched up to it in terms of specific action or edits, so I can't 'know' how appropriate it is - or isn't, or if it's going to suit etc.
It's really important I think that the 2 of you focus on communicating your story for the interim crit; that you use your characters and props much more proactively and with much greater confidence. In truth, I know both of you are actually lacking confidence in terms of bringing your elements together, but I suggest that one of you absolutely takes charge of OUR experience of your characters and world, because it's not there in your pre-viz yet - and I'm really looking forward to feeling the charm, mysticism and beauty of your story :)